During this time of the year, Americans gather together with their families to celebrate Thanksgiving. It’s also a time to reflect on what we have, who we love, and those we miss. How fortunate we are to put that turkey with all the trimmings on the table. To partake of pumpkin pie. Maybe fall asleep on the couch during the football game. It’s a tradition we treasure, and maybe take a little for granted.
But for others, whose celebration of this holiday might seem quite unfamiliar, the purpose of it does not go without recognition. For newcomer Afghans, there is much to be thankful for. Sometimes, it comes in the form of a gift of a Ramadan food box filled with flour, sugar, lentils, tea and other staples to help ease the grocery bill.
Other times, it’s saving a life.
Gulnaz (name changed to protect identity) entered the United States through the southern border. Her husband had a history of abuse, and she still suffered from the burns he inflicted upon her. After a few months, he informed her that he had two other wives in Afghanistan, and that he intended to bring them here. She’d have to settle for being his “girlfriend,” as their Islamic marriage wasn’t registered with the government. After her husband attempted to send her to a stranger in Canada, perhaps to be trafficked, her life, she knew, was in danger.
WAW tried to bring Gulnaz to our New York Community Center once she found shelter in a Yonkers hotel, but communication with her became difficult. Later, she informed a caseworker that her husband provided a bus ticket to Seattle, and that she was heading there to an unknown fate. WAW made arrangements for someone to meet her in Minnesota and gave her a new bus ticket to a safer destination. A kind volunteer managed to arrange services for her in an anonymous location. Malnourished and exhausted, Gulnaz gratefully accepted this volunteer’s assistance.
A new beginning awaited Gulnaz. WAW agreed to take on her asylum case, and to also provide her with a phone and a gift card to purchase necessities. She also became part of an intimate partner violence study at Arizona State University. Doing so, she said, empowered her. She gave voice to her experiences and, perhaps, would encourage others who faced the same horrific circumstances as her to find support. For all of this, she is most thankful.
Gratitude for new beginnings takes other shapes as well. Take, for example, Zarina (name changed to protect identity), a newly-arrived senior Afghan immigrant. Without family to surround her, loneliness crept in. Sensing that she could benefit from women who faced similar experiences as her, the WAW caseworker with whom Zarina had been meeting suggested that she join the Senior Women’s Circle.
On Zarina’s first day at the Senior Women’s Circle, shyness overcame her. Not knowing any of the other women, she kept to herself, unsure of how to engage the others. But due to the friendly nature of this particular group, her circlemates offered her a warm welcome. Before long, Zarina made good friends and cherished her time spent with them. They met up at cafes frequently, catching up on each other’s lives. She’s even been invited to spend time with her friends’ families for gatherings. Feelings of isolation melted away as this social circle became her lifeline.
With her confidence growing, Zarina joined the English class. Now that she’d settled in her new life and home, she needed to learn its language. Turned out that she’s one of the class’ best students, always eager to learn more. She’s become so comfortable with her English that she now takes public transportation without fear. Recently, when the Senior Women’s Circle arranged field trips in locations around Queens, she’s even offered to meet up with the group, rather than at WAW’s New York Community Center.
In time, Zarina created her own family. She grew to trust and depend upon her newfound friends, knowing they’d be there if she needed them. This circle of women checked in with each other often, making sure they were okay, to chat and to catch up on things. When she missed an English class, her friend told the teacher Zarina had an appointment. This woman assured the teacher that all was well, and Zarina reached out to her friend to share this message. That’s when WAW knew she blossomed from an isolated, shy immigrant senior woman into a New Yorker fully engaged with her community. Zarina could manage things for herself, without fear.
It’s moments like this that give reason for all that WAW does for those who seek our help. It’s the light in the darkness when all seems impossible, and provides the hope for a bright new day. And so, this Thanksgiving, WAW wishes you all of the joy and blessings that this holiday brings.
